My mom has this week off work, and I’m not feeling OK about it.  Besides her annoying habits, I don’t want to be judged.  I’m so fucking certain she judges me.

It’s hard enough being stressed about going to school while feeling ugly and worthless and having to socialize.  My dad is usually around and we pretty much get along and that’s still really difficult for me.  When it’s both of them I feel really closed in and anxious.  It’s just two people but my social anxiety still kicks in.  I really need to be alone for a little bit.  Living at home is good because I have support when I need it but it’s really hard to escape.

I swear whenever this happens I always think, “They’re judging me.  They’re judging me and they think I’m lazy and ugly.  They’re wondering how I can even go out looking as bad as I do.  They think it’s hilarious.”

Fuck.

Now I feel selfish.